I'm a pretty busy lady.I'm a grad student, which means I've got classes and my internship. I have assorted readings, papers, meetings and group projects for said classes. I've also got a job. And awesome friends with whom I love hanging out. Plus I have a Netflix subscription, a gym membership, a DVR teeming with trashy reality shows that I never seem to have enough time to watch, and a near-perfect tomato basil soup recipe that still needs some minor tweaking.
Like most busy people, I enjoy convenience. So speed dating seemed like something I should give a shot: meet 25 single guys in one evening, talk to them for 4 minutes each, and then decide who you'd be willing to exchange contact information with. It's something I've heard of (and seen hilariously -- and uncomfortably -- depicted in various movies and TV shows) but have never actually tried; hence, its place on my 30 Before 30 list. My fabulous friend Renee (who suggested I start this list in the first place!) forwarded me a grad student speed dating email a couple weeks ago, and we agreed to sign up. Let the awkwardness begin!
I would say this experience landed somewhere on the border between really fun and uncomfortably weird. It took place at a bar, which was crucial because it meant we could have a beer -- or a Makers on the rocks, in my case -- before (and during) to keep it loose. It was in a side room at the bar, which meant no spectators, aside from the wait staff who seemed to really get a kick out of eavesdropping on some awkward conversations. In addition to Renee, my lovely new friends Anne and Caroline also joined, and let's be real here: dating can be awkward, so having friends there makes it much better.
The way it worked was pretty simple...I had a name tag and a number, and so did everyone else, plus a sheet where we were supposed to write who we spoke to and columns for "yes" or "no" depending on our interest level. The girls got to sit in the same seats, and the guys moved table to table, down the line, every 4 minutes. It had the effect of a sort of conveyor belt of dudes. Sometimes I wished I could speed that belt up, and a couple times I wanted to pause it and talk a little longer. Generally speaking though, I'll give it up for the organizers' formula: 4 minutes seems like basically all you need to decide if you're interested in going out with someone.
As for the actual dudes on this conveyor belt...they were an impressive bunch: all grad students, lots in engineering, medicine and business, from what I could tell. "What program are you in?" seemed like the safe question to start out with, along with small-talk favorites like "Where are you from?" and "What are your hobbies?" I did have someone ask me if I had hobbies, to which I initially replied "Nope". He didn't seem to appreciate my sarcasm, which for me is the quickest way to a check mark in the "no" column. One guy asked me if I could be a part of any TV show, what it would be. My quick response -- Seinfeld -- elicited a "wow, going old school there!" comment. Which brings me to my next point: there were a lot of guys who looked like they'd juuuuuuust gotten bar mitzvahed, which made me feel like a straight-up cougar. Are we seriously living in a day when Seinfeld could be considered old school? Overall though, everyone was really nice, and though 100 minutes of straight small talk was definitely fatiguing, it was a fun experience.
And keeping true to this list item's full description, after the event ended a little before midnight, we hustled to Bar Louie for a cocktail (and $1 burgers) to decompress and debrief. I think I speak for all of us when I say that it was definitely a worthwhile experience; nothing may come of it, but I'm not sure any of us expected that anyway. It's just always a good feeling to blow off your homework and sneak out of your school bubble for one night to meet some new people.
And even more importantly, it's always good to remember that even if you're busy -- which let's face it, we all are -- it's worth it to make time for a fun night with good friends.
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